Wednesday, October 26, 2011

I miss her...I miss her everyday...

I wasn't able to say good-bye to my grandmother on the day she died.....I was working and had
to hold all my emotions in....till I closed my office doors that night...knowing in my heart she was gone....could I then sink to the floor and cry to myself~

I lost an amazing person in my life....I take her flowers every chance I get.....I lay next to her on the grass...looking up at the blue skys...I know she is w/god smiling down at me....forever by my side....forever feeling her love in my heart...I miss you...I miss you everyday grandma~


I look at my daughter Nastasya.....and know that she has a part of you living inside of her...the best part....the part that is unconditional..... unwavering..... I miss you...a year ago this time....I was in Paris....trying to forget the heartache......of losing you, of being betrayed, of wondering why?????  I prayed for my heart to be strong......to be strong like you....that in your 80 yrs. of living...of seeing wars...of cruelty...of shame...still standing...with so much grace......you taught me so much.

Today....My heart is strong..wishing I could hear you laugh, in my mothers laughter...I hear you....your words...your advice...and mostly........your love...telling me.....CHIA-CHIA ~ HAO AI NEE...

...HAO AI NEE MEN MAI I GE.....that in the end  for you to leave this world, the only thing you will
miss is all of US.......I promise to live my life with as much grace as you!!!

I love you :)

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